The frail half of the script concerns a pair of brothers (Harry Treadaway, Terry Macquire) who pull together a team to rob a bank. They intend to use the money they steal to help out their grandfather’s convalescent home (granddad is played by the perpetual scowler Alan Ford). The somewhat tolerable other half of the script that delivers the more amusing bits, meanwhile, concern granddad and his pals at the home.
A zombie outbreak occurs at a construction site and soon enough the brothers find their bank heist foiled as they’re forced to fight the undead to get to their granddad. The old man has his own troubles, however: The convalescent home is under attack, too, and the elderly are forced to defend themselves. This paves the way for a lot of “Oh, I wish that was better” and “They dropped the ball on that” moments. Zombies versus old folk - it should be gold, but nothing really connects.
That sentiment goes for the rest of the movie. There’s a lack of connection between the viewer and the characters. The set-up is too rushed and we care about no one. Thankfully, Cockneys vs. Zombies is a short ride so, if you do endure it, you can return to the horror-comedies of yesterday that know how to get it right.