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True Blood Recap: Episode 701 ‘Jesus Gonna Be Here’

True-Blood 701

Full disclosure: True Blood lost me during season four – the season with the witches. I dug the show up until that point, but then they had the ridiculous witches and all the fairy nonsense, and that was it for me. So atrociously bad was season four that I have never quite forgiven the show. Season five, with the Authority, was weak salve on an open wound. Season six, with the vampire detention centers, was genuinely interesting – until they brought in Warlow and the whole fairy vampire princess garbage.

So frankly, I am ready for the show to wrap.

The good news about the season seven premiere: no fairyworld crap. The bad news: there wasn’t a whole lot else going on, either.

We open at the vampire/human mixer that Arlene is hosting at the bar – and it is chaos. The hordes of Hep V vamps have descended, and it is chaos. A whistle sounds, and the infected vampires are gone. When the dust settles, we discover the Hep V vamps kidnapped Arlene, Holly, Nicole, and a couple other townspeople. Sam shifts into a dog to try to catch up with his baby momma, but it doesn’t work. When he returns to the bar, he shifts back into human form, something that Vince – the guy who ran against him in the mayoral race – sees, and it really freaks him out. But he has other things to worry about. He was never a fan of this vampire/human buddy system, and now one of the Hep V vampires has his brother. He and a few other locals refuse to trust Bill and Sam, and set out on their own vigilante mission. Vince’s gang feels like a stall tactic. They go to Jason’s house searching for the Hep V vamps (I don’t know why they thought they would be at Jason’s house) and when Jason’s yelling doesn’t scare them away, Violet’s does. (The upside to this pointless scene: Jason has had enough of being emasculated and fucks Violet hard and fast against the hood of his car.)

Then Vince’s gang goes to an abandoned warehouse. All they find there is Bill and Andy, also looking for the nest of Hep V vampires. At least there is some logic in looking for them there. An unremarkable stand-off takes place, and ends with the humans leaving. As it turns out, the infected vampires have taken over the now-empty Fangtasia. How is that not the first place they look?

Sookie is overwhelmed by the thoughts of the townspeople, who are all blaming her for… I guess encouraging vampires to stay in Bon Temps? I guess her blood was used in creating the virus, but I don’t think the town knows that. They are all silently calling her a vampire slut. The last straw is when she finds out that Alcide shares the same thoughts with the rest of the town. She slips out of the bar alone and goes home. When Alcide finally makes it back to the house, he is mad that she left on her own, and she is mad that he thought of her as a vampire whore. Then he is mad that she read his thoughts… anyway, you see where this bullshit is going. After a brief time apart, they apologize to one another and make sweet, sweet love.

Jessica still sits guard outside the Bellefleur house. Adilyn is still scared of Jessica, but also realizes that she is a young woman (remember: she’s still supposed to be 17) who made a mistake. She doesn’t let Jessica in, but does open the window to talk to her. An H-vamp appears in the distance, drawn there by the scent of Adilyn’s fairy blood. What should be a tense stand-off with lots of fighting is a mildly edgy scene. Even though the H-vamp can’t enter the Bellefleur home, Jessica informs Adilyn that he can still “hurt” her. No other info is offered, and the stand-off continues. As the sun comes up, Jessica is still standing guard – but she is starting to smoke. Adilyn takes pity on her and invites her into the house to take refuge in the attic. Jessica resists, but the burning is too much to bear. She rushes in and slams the door before the Hep V vamp can follow. Jessica resists the temptation to eat Adilyn and races to the attic. The H-vamp ignites on the front porch. I still have no idea what the sickly vampire could have done to Adilyn from outside the house.

What should have been a major moment in this episode was glossed over so completely that I almost don’t believe it happened: Tara is dead. We don’t actually see her explode, just Sookie coming across Lettie Mae, covered in gooey vampire bits, and claiming the infected killed her. It was a brief moment at the top of the episode, and no one really mourns her. I assume that one of two things actually happened: either Lettie Mae killed her own daughter, or that wasn’t Tara who was killed. That is the only reasonable explanation as to why her death was virtually ignored.

No Eric this week, and I still assume he is not dead. Pam does have a fun The Deer Hunter scene in a vampire bar in Morocco while trying to get information on his whereabouts.

Editor's note: Stay tuned for more weekly True Blood recaps here at Shock! Alyse will also be turning some over for other horror shows as well!

Visit the official site for True Blood here - and here is a look at the week's ahead…

  • dellolio

    Hey soooo maybe do some research before you write an article??? You spelled Adeline wrong….. Also the whole Sookie’s blood being used for the virus is not true at all. Hep V has been talked about since season 1. Look it up. I know you don’t like the show but maybe do some research next time?

    • Alyse

      First off, I spelled Adilyn’s name as HBO spells it in press notes.

      I have been watching since season one, and I don’t recall Hep V being a thing until recently; however, I don’t remember so I will give you that. But even still, I don’t see how the townspeople would know that. The best I can come up with is that since Sookie was an early advocate for vampire rights, that makes her an easy scapegoat.

      • dellolio

        Season 1 episode 3 “Mine” during the vampire orgie Sookie reads the mind of one of their humans who wants his vamp to bite him in order to infect him with Hep V.
        I apologize about the spelling, you’re right. They spell her name strange. But the Hep V thing has been known since Season 1.

        • http://errorinvalidscreenname.tumblr.com/ Chris Hill

          Ladies don’t fight! At the end of the day isn’t TB just a silly show about sexy people/werewolves/vampires/garden gnomes? Confession – I haven’t watched the show in a while – I just google search for Jessica gifs when the show comes back.

        • Chris

          Actually, in “Mine”, Jerry is infected with Hepatitis D, not Hep V. Hep D is a real life strain of hepatitis that, in True Blood lore, weakens vampires. Hep V was developed during Season 6 by Dr Overlark by genetically manipulating the Hep D virus. So, you were wrong about the name and you were wrong about Hep V. Your sanctimonious rant about researching before you write is becoming deliciously ironic. Mmmmm, irony.

          • dellolio

            Oh… so what you’re saying is she was still wrong to say Sookie’s blood had anything to do with it… I’m not the one writing an article for others to read in a public forum. I’m fine with being wrong :P

          • Chris

            First, Ms. Wax is not reporting. She is recapping her impressions. Even if her impressions are based on incorrect information. So, no, she does not need to have her facts straight. She only needs to accurately record her thoughts of watching the episode. Also, if you use your reading comprehension skills, she wrote “I guess her blood was used in creating the virus, but I don’t think the town knows that.” I guess, I think. She guessed and thought wrong. But the language she choose as a writer gets her off the hook. You, however, are not so lucky.

            Second, if you are going to rail against someone for something, make sure that you not going to guilty of the exact same thing. By my count, she got the Sookie thing wrong but you got two things wrong. 2-1. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

          • dellolio

            wow… this really upset you huh? Please keep going this amusing :P

          • Chris

            Upsetting me, no. This is fun for me, darling. Knocking people like you down a peg or two.

            You’re right. This is amusing. I would watch that tongue of yours.

          • dellolio

            I can’t stop laughing this was great

          • Chris

            You should be wrong more often, then.

            And you’re welcome.

          • Chris

            My grammar is all over the place. Apologies.

            the language she chose

            make sure that you are not going to be guilty of the exact same thing

            Good grief, what a mess. I am sure there are others.

        • Misty Richardson

          He had Hep D not Hep V. I have all the seasons on DVD

  • Lamont Smith

    I don’t believe Tara is dead since they didn’t show her death on-screen. Still, even is she is dead, again, I believe she’ll come back in some form since this is the final season. I’m sure there is some purpose for Vince and the anti-vampire group that is starting to form, we’ll have to see where the writers will take this.

  • killerclarkent

    First of all Im kinda pissed I had to join here and cant post on fearnet anymore, I have been tagging on alyse’s comments for years… Supernatural, being human, lost girl, Dexter and True blood. Anyway Ill give it a whirl.
    I am a total stoner and take everything at first appearance but need other people like you all to throw out some curve balls. I will not spell every body’s name correctly I have not read true blood books or comics! I have watched episodes since season 1 and have a pretty awesome memory for a stoner.
    Tara… my prediction- so she will die this season, not yet it cannot be done the first two minutes of the first episode and not have an impact on Pam her maker.Any body know if Talbot was Russell’s son that could actually defy my theory. I see Tara coming back, doing something extravagant… saving sooki and getting killed that episode maybe 4 or 5 in.
    I do not remember them talking about Hep-v before last season and being of scientific mind I would say that sooki’s blood probably has nothing to do with hep-v but probably something that replicates and is like silver in the blood stream that is how I would design hep-v identical to an iron vitimin.
    I am so over Jessica her character is irrelevant and her scenes are far too long now she has a bf that is bi and will be fucking Lafayette just to spice up the sex part of the show. As a guy I dont mind when she wears makeup and dresses up she is hot, but seems like that is all she is good for…sorry-.
    Oh yeah and bill is going to save Andy’s life in a big way.
    Sam’s character transformation has been awesome and gradual he is the mayor and knows how to rally the people are we gong to see his “fam” again.
    Andy’s character transformation has been written terribly. Last season he could not tie his shoes or form a sentence this season he is psychologically talking down a gunman.
    Ill throw down next week.;

    • Alyse

      Thanks so much for following me over here! FEARnet got screwed over. I appreciate it, and hopefully Shock will bring me on for more recaps!

  • http://so-very.me/ Jenny

    so… sookie is a vampire now? o.O that’s kinda… i give up lol

    • Alyse

      Nah. Last season she was going to become Warlow’s fairy vampire princess, but he never finished turning her so she is just a regular fairy waitress.