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True Blood Recap: Episode 701 ‘Jesus Gonna Be Here’

True-Blood 701

Full disclosure: True Blood lost me during season four – the season with the witches. I dug the show up until that point, but then they had the ridiculous witches and all the fairy nonsense, and that was it for me. So atrociously bad was season four that I have never quite forgiven the show. Season five, with the Authority, was weak salve on an open wound. Season six, with the vampire detention centers, was genuinely interesting – until they brought in Warlow and the whole fairy vampire princess garbage.

So frankly, I am ready for the show to wrap.

The good news about the season seven premiere: no fairyworld crap. The bad news: there wasn’t a whole lot else going on, either.

We open at the vampire/human mixer that Arlene is hosting at the bar – and it is chaos. The hordes of Hep V vamps have descended, and it is chaos. A whistle sounds, and the infected vampires are gone. When the dust settles, we discover the Hep V vamps kidnapped Arlene, Holly, Nicole, and a couple other townspeople. Sam shifts into a dog to try to catch up with his baby momma, but it doesn’t work. When he returns to the bar, he shifts back into human form, something that Vince – the guy who ran against him in the mayoral race – sees, and it really freaks him out. But he has other things to worry about. He was never a fan of this vampire/human buddy system, and now one of the Hep V vampires has his brother. He and a few other locals refuse to trust Bill and Sam, and set out on their own vigilante mission. Vince’s gang feels like a stall tactic. They go to Jason’s house searching for the Hep V vamps (I don’t know why they thought they would be at Jason’s house) and when Jason’s yelling doesn’t scare them away, Violet’s does. (The upside to this pointless scene: Jason has had enough of being emasculated and fucks Violet hard and fast against the hood of his car.)

Then Vince’s gang goes to an abandoned warehouse. All they find there is Bill and Andy, also looking for the nest of Hep V vampires. At least there is some logic in looking for them there. An unremarkable stand-off takes place, and ends with the humans leaving. As it turns out, the infected vampires have taken over the now-empty Fangtasia. How is that not the first place they look?

Sookie is overwhelmed by the thoughts of the townspeople, who are all blaming her for… I guess encouraging vampires to stay in Bon Temps? I guess her blood was used in creating the virus, but I don’t think the town knows that. They are all silently calling her a vampire slut. The last straw is when she finds out that Alcide shares the same thoughts with the rest of the town. She slips out of the bar alone and goes home. When Alcide finally makes it back to the house, he is mad that she left on her own, and she is mad that he thought of her as a vampire whore. Then he is mad that she read his thoughts… anyway, you see where this bullshit is going. After a brief time apart, they apologize to one another and make sweet, sweet love.

Jessica still sits guard outside the Bellefleur house. Adilyn is still scared of Jessica, but also realizes that she is a young woman (remember: she’s still supposed to be 17) who made a mistake. She doesn’t let Jessica in, but does open the window to talk to her. An H-vamp appears in the distance, drawn there by the scent of Adilyn’s fairy blood. What should be a tense stand-off with lots of fighting is a mildly edgy scene. Even though the H-vamp can’t enter the Bellefleur home, Jessica informs Adilyn that he can still “hurt” her. No other info is offered, and the stand-off continues. As the sun comes up, Jessica is still standing guard – but she is starting to smoke. Adilyn takes pity on her and invites her into the house to take refuge in the attic. Jessica resists, but the burning is too much to bear. She rushes in and slams the door before the Hep V vamp can follow. Jessica resists the temptation to eat Adilyn and races to the attic. The H-vamp ignites on the front porch. I still have no idea what the sickly vampire could have done to Adilyn from outside the house.

What should have been a major moment in this episode was glossed over so completely that I almost don’t believe it happened: Tara is dead. We don’t actually see her explode, just Sookie coming across Lettie Mae, covered in gooey vampire bits, and claiming the infected killed her. It was a brief moment at the top of the episode, and no one really mourns her. I assume that one of two things actually happened: either Lettie Mae killed her own daughter, or that wasn’t Tara who was killed. That is the only reasonable explanation as to why her death was virtually ignored.

No Eric this week, and I still assume he is not dead. Pam does have a fun The Deer Hunter scene in a vampire bar in Morocco while trying to get information on his whereabouts.

Editor's note: Stay tuned for more weekly True Blood recaps here at Shock! Alyse will also be turning some over for other horror shows as well!

Visit the official site for True Blood here – and here is a look at the week's ahead…